The Importance of the ACES

What are ACES? ACES are Adverse Childhood Experiences. Studies are showing that the higher the number of specific types of adverse childhood experiences you have had, the greater the risk of having a challenging adult life- either with Substance Misuse, abusive and/or toxic relationships, difficulty succeeding professionally, or suffering from mental health disorders such as …

When I was Twenty

When I was twenty, I knew I wanted to have a healthy relationship. I wanted to do everything “right” I thought if I could be honest and open and kind and giving, if I was a good listener, if I did everything in my power to please my partner, then there would be no way …

Fear of No

Why is it so hard to say no to our kids? Maybe it isn’t for some people, but it is for me. I have always been such a fucking people pleaser. Until about a month ago, if I created a boundary for my kids, it was coupled with a long drawn-out conversation about why, and …

Economics

This piece is written by Gabrielle Kerson, an old dear friend. Since writing my book and beginning this blog, friends send me pieces of writing often. I love the unintended consequence that sharing my writing, attempting to be vulnerable and bring people together, has allowed others to feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings and …

The Cookie Girls

It doesn’t take much to make a difference The intersection was precarious. It was a “Y” where if you went left it took you the long way into town, past the lake and the ominous-yet-magnificent Catholic Church that sat high above Lake Memphremagog, the lake that bridges us with Canada. If you took a right, …

Check the Boxes

Check the Boxes Ever since I put my book “F*ck That,” out into the world, people have been reaching out to me with one common theme: fear, and running from it, and wanting to stop. People run from so many things. Running from the hard things in life. Running from fear of love, fear of …

Letting Go of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome.  Do you have it?  I do. Or well, I did, I used to, but it’s getting better now.  The more I find and claim my worth, the more I feel, internally, that what I have to say matters, and that others take me seriously, too. My voice used to be very small, full …

The Corner Chair

*** Trigger warning, discussion of rape. Details changed for privacy. She sat in the corner chair in my office. It’s the chair everyone in deepest pain chooses. It feels safe there, with a wall on each side.  She didn’t cry.  She didn’t smile either, and she didn’t meet my eye. She stared ahead and told …

Stronger Together

Friends are family and family are friends “I love you.”  The text said.  Suddenly the tears welled and spilled, down my face, splashing onto my shirt and jeans. I could wipe the tears from my face but the wet splotches soaking my shirt were a certain giveaway of my big heart, literally on my sleeve, …

How to be Good at Life

How to be Good at Life When you hit the absolute breaking point, what do you do?  What I do, and what I want to do, are sometimes very different things. The pressures of parenting and life and generally holding it all together can be too much sometimes. People say, when you are overwhelmed, focus …