When I was twenty, I knew I wanted to have a healthy relationship. I wanted to do everything “right” I thought if I could be honest and open and kind and giving, if I was a good listener, if I did everything in my power to please my partner, then there would be no way …
I was just thinking about how far I’ve come. I remember the fear So much fear Should I get divorced? Should I stay? Will my kids be okay if I end the marriage? Will they be okay if I stay? Will I be able to keep my house? Will I even be able to feed …
Why is it so hard to say no to our kids? Maybe it isn’t for some people, but it is for me. I have always been such a fucking people pleaser. Until about a month ago, if I created a boundary for my kids, it was coupled with a long drawn-out conversation about why, and …
It doesn’t take much to make a difference The intersection was precarious. It was a “Y” where if you went left it took you the long way into town, past the lake and the ominous-yet-magnificent Catholic Church that sat high above Lake Memphremagog, the lake that bridges us with Canada. If you took a right, …
Check the Boxes Ever since I put my book “F*ck That,” out into the world, people have been reaching out to me with one common theme: fear, and running from it, and wanting to stop. People run from so many things. Running from the hard things in life. Running from fear of love, fear of …
** There are all kinds of depression in men and women. This particular post is geared for struggling moms. I meant to write this as a short piece, because moms have no time, but there was too much to say, because depression is hard. When my middle son was a toddler I was still trying …
*** Trigger warning, discussion of rape. Details changed for privacy. She sat in the corner chair in my office. It’s the chair everyone in deepest pain chooses. It feels safe there, with a wall on each side. She didn’t cry. She didn’t smile either, and she didn’t meet my eye. She stared ahead and told …
Friends are family and family are friends “I love you.” The text said. Suddenly the tears welled and spilled, down my face, splashing onto my shirt and jeans. I could wipe the tears from my face but the wet splotches soaking my shirt were a certain giveaway of my big heart, literally on my sleeve, …
How to be Good at Life When you hit the absolute breaking point, what do you do? What I do, and what I want to do, are sometimes very different things. The pressures of parenting and life and generally holding it all together can be too much sometimes. People say, when you are overwhelmed, focus …
Letting Half-Love Leave I noticed when he walked away this time, he didn’t see he was abandoning himself more than he was abandoning me. He didn’t see it but for the first time, I did. In the past I would be distraught and confused, consumed with ache and anxiety and self-loathing at his leaving. I …