What does a healthy relationship look like?
Well for me, it’s knowing that tonight I have to go to a conference, and my partner is going to take my kids out to dinner and spend time with them, and get them out the door for school on time tomorrow morning.
A healthy relationship is jumping in the car with me and my daughter at the end of the day yesterday, to go see my sons new apartment that he just moved into Saturday… away from me… a very good move for him that I’m so proud of but oh so hard too…. And while we were there knowing when to squeeze my hand right when I needed it and then later, before falling asleep, asking me if I’m okay. Because letting go of big kids hurts. It’s a good hurt, but damn it is hard.
A healthy relationship is taking the car the landed in the pond the other week by teenage accident and drying it out in his heated garage and putting a new starter on it, and trying every which way to revive her. When the oil poured out of every nook and cranny except where it was supposed to, he said- “well, we will just find another one like it and use this for a parts car, no big deal, it’s just a car not a kid”
A healthy relationship is admitting when it wasn’t maybe the dog that made the room smell that way, and then getting to laugh about it.
A healthy relationship is trusting and encouraging me enough to teach me how to drive the huge manual dump truck.
A healthy relationship is sleeping deeply and not wanting to get up-every day- because your safe person is sleeping next to you.
A healthy relationship is going for a walk almost every night and admiring the landscape and the stars, for the immediate beauty, but also for what it represents- that we are specs in the universe, that there is something much greater that connects us all.
A healthy relationship is about listening, and really hearing. Paying attention to the intent of what your loved one is trying to say.
A healthy relationship also includes owning your shit, understanding your shit and saying sorry when your shit makes shit worse in ways it shouldn’t or no longer has to.
And all of that that creates more connection, more trust, more good energy, more love.
A healthy relationship is calming. A healthy relationship is comforting. A healthy relationship is a place to express discomfort or fear or confusion and even frustration and be heard and seen and respected and loved.
It’s not boring. There’s always more to know. Which is fascinating in and of itself.
I never used to believe any of these were possible.
None of this would have been possible if we hadn’t done the work to heal- the ugly, messy, rough, raw, super sad, super honest healing, and keep healing now, together.
But first we both did have to find love of self independently, so we don’t lose our own selves together.
It’s a truly beautiful thing, to be two whole people, working and living and listening and loving together.
I cherish it every day. I know what it took to get here.
If you just had another unsatisfying weekend, another confusing conversation, another disappointing date- I get it and I have been there and there is a way out, to exactly what you want. There are answers.
I’m living proof!
So if you’re trying to heal and trying to stop being in the same toxic or confusing or unfulfilling relationships over and over again, I’d love to work with you. It works!
You are so worthy of having it all.
I used to feel so lonely, so unloveable, so broken. And then I healed found a person inside myslef I loved and understood and most importantly- accepted. And I went out on the dating adventure and tried a bunch of relationships and people out and learned even more about myself- what I need, what I want, what I DON’T need and what I DON’T want. I had fun. I had embarrasment. I had a little bit of hurt. Mostly though I had fun, because I knew that every experience was bringin me closer to the relationship I wanted- with myself and with someone else.
For more info on how to coach with me or buy my book “F*ck That: a step-by-step guide to claim your worth and heal your broken heart”
Click here: www.motherroadvt.com
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