“Narcissism is self-love without love of others.”
-Vishen Lahkiani
I love it described this way. This word, used so commonly (and often incorrectly) today.
Couples break up and say the other one is the narcissist. Spears thrown back and forth.
I love the quote above because, because because, we allllll have narcissistic tendencies. It’s a self-protective measure.
I know. Shit.
Being able to love ourselves and others, authentically, for unselfish reasons, that’s the key. And not abandon ourselves for others (codependence-opposite of narcissistic)
Not all of us are on the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder (most are not).
But we all do have bits of narcissism and that’s okay. And bits of codependency too. It doesn’t make us bad. But to not let it be toxic, we need to be aware.
So what I’d add to the above quote is:
“Narcissism is self-love, without being self-aware. It’s a self-protective measure to protect a fragile heart. A way to stay safe without resilience or courage”
And not all self-love is narcissistic. The above is what differentiates healthy self-love from broken.
What I love about figuring out who we each are, is figuring out the balance between love of self, and wonder of self, and love and compassion and wonder of others and the world.
Because every day, in conscious and unconscious ways, we are all looking for balance.
That’s what we are looking for.
Peace
Stability
Safe connection.
And sometimes we feel we have to over protect ourselves and sometimes we feel we have to over protect others but at the end of the day all we are seeking is balance.
Homeostasis of the heart, mind and body.
Such a complicated thing to find it turns out.
So far what I’ve found the key to seeking the balance of this ever tipping scale, is ever growing self awareness.
Intellectual and emotional flexibility and expansion.
Humility and gratitude.
Wonder and love for the imperfectness of the human condition and grace at the mess of it.
Today I choose gratitude over fear
Love over judgement
Wonder over self-protection.
There’s balance in accepting imbalance, and being open to what unfolds.
It’s a rainy day in the northeast kingdom of Vermont today. The last of the foliage is falling. It’s beautiful and I’m grateful.
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#selfworth#love#humility#gratitude#grace#emotionalintelligence#perception#mindfullness#wecandohardthings#psychology#purpose#Respect
